for the love of ambien

My "day" today--it is now Saturday approaching midnight in San Francisco--started at 11:00 p.m. yesterday in Bombay (i.e., 10:30 a.m. Friday California time), when George came to pick me up and take me to Chhatrapati Shivaji International Airport, or as they say in airport code, BOM. My flight on Korean Air was not departing till 3:30 a.m. (I'm sorry, did I say "3:30 a.m.?" I meant THREE THIRTY FUCKING A.M.), but I felt bad making someone hang out later than 11:00 just to come and drive me to the airport. Not bad enough, mind you, to actually volunteer to go find a regular cab in the middle of the night, but bad enough not to insist on being picked up at a more reasonable hour, given the circumstances.

So I hung out for four hours in the understated luxury of BOM, then headed to Seoul, then got on a flight to San Francisco. I must say I prefer going over Asia rather than over Europe. It's shorter, for one thing, and also shorter. Plus it does not take as long, and the distance is not as far. (Someone please slap me for thinking that 25 hours total travel time is "not all that long.")

Did y'all know that the flight attendants for Korean Air are an army of spindly identical toothpicks in pale khaki and light seagreen-blue, down to the freakin' EYE SHADOW? This is not Jackass American over here thinking all Asian women look alike (although I am tempted to say that just to piss off Dan, who is a jerk). This is Jackass American saying that dude, SRSLY, all Korean Air flight attendants look alike. So much so that midway during the Seoul-SFO leg, under the influence of white wine and Ambien, I was for at least 30 seconds convinced that what was, in fact, a severe case of double vision was just two flight attendants going through very similar motions at the same time in the same area.

I was just now looking for an example of the Korean Air flight attendant uniform to show you when I came across an ad I saw in the in-flight magazine that at the time made me think "WTfuckingF?!?" but that I had in the meantime already forgotten to tell you about (see reference to wine and Ambien above). And I am pleased, in my very Western "Um, is this just me?" sort of way, to note that the ad was being discussed on a Korean guy's blog and the point of his commentary was also "WTfuckingF?!":


Please note the caption: "...only dignified service for our dignified guests." Ah, the comments just write themselves. Also, hello. Just about the last place I want to imagine a person hanging out before handing me comestibles is the floor of an airplane.

Anyhoooooo, back to California, which is where I am. Here are some tips for you, dearest readers. First, find yourself a friend who is a member of a snazzy wine club, like maybe Cakebread Cellars. It is helpful if your friend is gorgeous and possibly named Claudia. The most important part, however, is to make sure the friend doesn't really care for white wine, because that means you will regularly receive hostess gifts consisting of ass-kicking bottles of ivory-colored alcoholic goodness, which will then still be waiting for you in your fridge when you get back from, say, India.

Another tip: there is a time to cast on (that's knitting talk) for a brand new pashmina lace wrap, and that time is decidedly NOT at 10:30 p.m. when your day began over 36 hours previously and has involved white wine of varying degrees of quality, three (sub)continents, and multiple doses of Ambien. I will be casting on ::cough:: again tomorrow (the Luna Moth Shawl, for those interested).